Pages Navigation Menu

Jason Toews and fifi (the band)

Most Recent Articles

Goin’ to California: Part II

Posted on Oct 9, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

“Have you heard about the COLOSSUS?” we demanded, pupils dilated.

Read More

Goin’ to California: Part I

Posted on Oct 9, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

Our blue and white VW Bus was a tinderbox of potential emotional and physical violence.

Read More

The Day That Flash Gordon Opened

Posted on Oct 9, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 1 comment

However, in response to my triumphant brandishing of the Lawry’s Seasoned Salt container, he merely shook his head sadly and walked away.

Read More

The Fixx (and How to Get it): Part III

Posted on Oct 8, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

“Yes, a chaperone can give you the extra strength to dominate completely over the sexual desires in your bodies when you are together.” – Watchtower magazine, 11/1/81

Read More

The Fixx (and How to Get it): Part II

Posted on Oct 8, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

“In their music, popular groups are putting across fornication and drugs as a way of life… What possible meeting of the minds can there be between true Christians and the attitudes manifested in such lyrics and philosophy?” – Watchtower magazine, 1/15/83

Read More

The Fixx (and How to Get it): Part I

Posted on Oct 8, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 4 comments

“Hey, you guys!” Eric shouts with barely-contained glee, “I think GENE SISKEL is going to be here tonight!”

Read More

Coachella 2007 in Fragments

Posted on Oct 7, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

I imagined walking into Target, and seeing those cute young cashiers, and having to admit that I had bailed on the long-awaited reunion of Rage Against the Machine because I had a cold, and that humiliation was intolerable to me.

Read More

Into the Forest

Posted on Oct 6, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

“He claims he’s just relocating the squirrels,” notes Ed, as the film fades to black.

Read More

Before and After “Back to the Future”

Posted on Oct 6, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

They’d wink at you like you were in on the plan, and if you didn’t let them steal the notebook paper they’d call you a fag and punch you in the chest, hard, and you’d feel like crying but you couldn’t because there was a line of 20 other students waiting to buy Sweet-Tarts and pink erasers.

Read More

The Springfield Mystery Spot!

Posted on Sep 29, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 2 comments

FACT: Only two birthday parties are recorded in the Bible. FACT: Both were celebrated by pagans. FACT: Both ended with the martyring of a true believer. CONCLUSION: No Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots on June 22 for Jason.

Read More