Pages Navigation Menu

Jason Toews and fifi (the band)

Most Recent Articles

Driven to Tears

Posted on Oct 11, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 1 comment

In 1983, Eric and I were dedicated concertgoers, often getting in line 12 or more hours before the show, braving the dangers of inclement weather, tyrannical security personnel, and aggressive street musicians.

Read More

These Pink Ladies Are Getting Hornier by the Minute

Posted on Oct 10, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 1 comment

I am 37 years old, after all, and it doesn’t really affect me if he believes that I am “consorting with the Father of All Lies” when I watch “The Omen” on late-night TV.

Read More

You Don’t Know How it Feels

Posted on Oct 10, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

This was all before Susie married the mysterious Filipino lounge singer and disappeared, but that’s another story.

Read More

Jason Goes to Hell: Part II

Posted on Oct 10, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

The wound in my stomach had (mostly) stopped bleeding, so there seemed to be no reason I couldn’t dig a drainage field or break up some concrete.

Read More

Jason Goes to Hell: Part I

Posted on Oct 10, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

This was by no means the beginning of my troubles; within the recent past I had experienced unemployment, staples hammered into my flesh, and vomiting on myself in a ditch at night during a torrential rainstorm.

Read More

I’m (Actually Not Very) All Right, Jack

Posted on Oct 10, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

We “went together” and “broke up” a few times over the course of our high school years, alternately cherishing and punishing each other like passionate, petulant, self-involved teenagers. Which, of course, is exactly what we were.

Read More

Goin’ to California: Part II

Posted on Oct 9, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

“Have you heard about the COLOSSUS?” we demanded, pupils dilated.

Read More

Goin’ to California: Part I

Posted on Oct 9, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

Our blue and white VW Bus was a tinderbox of potential emotional and physical violence.

Read More

The Day That Flash Gordon Opened

Posted on Oct 9, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 1 comment

However, in response to my triumphant brandishing of the Lawry’s Seasoned Salt container, he merely shook his head sadly and walked away.

Read More

The Fixx (and How to Get it): Part III

Posted on Oct 8, 2008 in Paul's Basement | 0 comments

“Yes, a chaperone can give you the extra strength to dominate completely over the sexual desires in your bodies when you are together.” – Watchtower magazine, 11/1/81

Read More