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Jason Toews and fifi (the band)

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Two Conversations About One Thing

Posted on Sep 17, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 1 comment

“Scum of the earth, I tell ya.” He nearly spat the words at me. “Filthy, lowlife scum of the earth,” he added, clarifying his previous comment.

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Grief: It’s What’s for Dinner!

Posted on Sep 5, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 4 comments

I assume this is normal toxic fallout from our recent cross-country move and subconsciously I’m grappling with the separation from loved ones, or it could simply be that I’m eating dinner too late.

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Take THAT, Robert Downey, Jr.!

Posted on Aug 23, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 2 comments

In Massachusetts, you simply rocket off the first highway and, without decreasing your speed in the slightest, shoot blindly into the whirling, deadly traffic of The Rotary – which we now refer to as “The Killin’ Wheel” – and then aim your car at the exit spoke and hope for the best.

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The Three Complaints of Jason Toews

Posted on Aug 22, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 1 comment

I have come to believe that the resident in Unit 73 – in clear violation of Regency Park Community Association policy – is operating a breeding and training facility for Mexican fighting dogs, or else some kind of long-term boarding kennel for incontinent llamas.

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Max and Jason: Days 9 and 10

Posted on Aug 19, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 1 comment

On our journey across these United States, Max and I drove over 3600 miles. Now, if Max hadn’t drifted off onto I-94, that number would be about 250 miles lower, but still: That’s quite a drive.

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Max and Jason: Day 8

Posted on Aug 16, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 1 comment

If you plan on staying at the Courtyard Marriott in Washington, D.C., make sure you request the “adult-size” sheets. Otherwise, they may give you the baby sheets.

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Max and Jason: Day 7

Posted on Aug 14, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 2 comments

Like Harvey Keitel in “Bad Lieutenant” I wanted to bust a cap in that damn radio’s ass, but I kept my service revolver holstered and we eventually arrived in Washington, D.C.

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Max and Jason: Day 6

Posted on Aug 9, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 3 comments

“I will not eat at any restaurant that urges me to visit their ‘World Famous Gravy Bar’.”

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Max and Jason: Day 5

Posted on Aug 8, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 1 comment

So we sped into Chicago singing along to Led Zeppelin- “Goin’ to Chicago… Going to Chicago… Sorry but I can’t take you…” which is probably like some life goal of mine that I hadn’t realized before.

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Max and Jason: Days 3 and 4

Posted on Aug 7, 2007 in Wheedle in My Rearview | 1 comment

Somebody is doing a brisk business selling embroidered patches which read “Helmet Laws Suck”.

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